Hondo wrapped up the regular season with a disastrous 5-10-1 performance that caused him to finish below the .500 mark. For that he can point a finger directly at Cincinnati, which, with a cover in hand in Pittsburgh Sunday night, fumbled it away in true Bengwad style.
But that's enough about 2014. Now that the ball has dropped and everyone has dropped the ball on his or her resolutions, it's time to shift focus from hangovers to turnovers and make some wise investments in playoff pigskin futures.
Cardinals-Panthers: The knee-jerk play is the Panthers, who have won their last four, while the Cardinals have lost four of their last six. And granted, quarterback Ryan Lindley, a journeyman, ultimately will be responsible for Arizona having a rough journey, man. Nevertheless, the Cardinals play a manly enough defense to keep it within the hefty number against the Panthers' plodding offense. Expect the Cats to nip 'em, 17-16.
Ravens-Steelers: In their last three games, the Ravens had to rally in the second half to beat the Jaguars, were beaten by the immortal Case Keenum and the Texans and needed a fourth-quarter comeback against the immortal Connor Shaw and the Browns to pull a wild card out of the deck. The Steelers, meanwhile, roll into the playoffs with four straight wins. Le'Veon Bell's possible absence won't keep the Ben Roethlisberger-to-Antonio Brown connection from getting the Steelers off to a fast start, which will make it an easy ride. After all, as everyone knows, it's tough to play catchup at Heinz. Steelers, 23-19.
Bengals-Colts: They don't call him "One-And-Done" Dalton for nothing. A fourth straight quick exit awaits in Indianapolis, where the Bengwads, who had the league's least number of sacks appeal, will provide Andrew Luck plenty of time to scan and deliver to T.Y. Hilton, Reggie Wayne and Coby Fleener. The Colts' underrated defense may not blank the 'Wads as it did Oct. 19, but with A.J. Green still woozy, a 24th straight year of playoff futility awaits Cincinnati. Can't argue with history; if you put your postseason cash on Dalton, you will be in the red. Colts, 31-23.
Lions-Cowboys: It's a numbers game — the Lions haven't won a playoff game since 1991, while Matt Stafford, for his career, is 0-for-17 on the road against teams that finished with a winning record. And it looks like their number is up again, unless Ndamukong Suh and Dominic Raiola can turn Jerry's Place into Stomper Room early on and get rid of some key Cowboys. Barring that, the Cowboys will roll as the playoff wheels come off Detroit again. Dallas 38-13.
BTW: Now that Suh has gotten over on the NFL by claiming his feet were numb and he didn't realize he twice stepped on Aaron Rodgers' ankle, he wants to appeal his $30,000 fine for kicking Matt Schaub on Thanksgiving in 2012. Suh now contends his foot was numb that day, too, and he merely was trying to warm it up in Schaub's crotch.
In other areas of import to HondoNation:
Mayor de Blasio and police reps met this week in an attempt to smooth over their rocky relationship, though cops said the mayor seemed disengaged. Red Billy explains that's because he is still drowsy from attending midnight services at St. Patrick's on Christmas Eve, further proof, he insists, that uncle Karl was right — religion is the opiate of the masses.
Let's try not to be too tough on the mayor in 2015. After all, Hizzoner is merely carrying out the wishes of Hizzowner, Al Sharpton.
The Jets reportedly are enthused at the possibility of hiring ex-Bills coach Doug Marrone, who had a 15-17 record with no playoff appearances in two years in Buffalo — seems like a perfect fit for Gang Green. By the way, Rex Ryan is scheduled to meet next week with the 49ers, or as he likes to call them, the Feety-niners.
Pakistan officials reportedly were upset with "Homeland" for its depiction as a country that protects terrorists. They might have a point. Other than Osama bin Laden, and all those who have been taken out by U.S. drones and will be taken out in the future, what terrorists have they harbored? What they should be upset about is the show's godawful season-ending episode.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and President Barack ObamaPhoto: Reuters
Governor Christie is unhappy with Obama for not getting convicted cop-killer Joanne Chesimard extradited in the deal with the Castro brothers. To show he means business, Christie has canceled all future Jersey Shore hugs with the President.
Two from BarkingMut of SoBe, the HondoNation Southeast Bureau Chief: Sony officials, attempting to capitalize on their recent IT system disaster, say they have a new TV series in production about entertainment executives trying to save their careers after the exposure of racist emails. It will be titled "Hack-ish." … Chiefs' LB Justin Houston, who missed breaking Michael Strahan's single-season record by half a sack, would have easily shattered it if Brett Favre were playing QB for the Chargers last Sunday.
Props to "Sunday Night Football" for becoming the first fall show to finish No. 1 in prime-time ratings for five straight years. Oddly enough, the five-year time frame coincides precisely with the removal from the show of Keith "Gasbag" Olbermann, aka Uberdork.
According to a Quinnipiac poll, 37 percent of N.Y. voters said they would rather spend New Year's Eve with Hillary Clinton than other N.Y. political figures. That's entirely understandable. It would be worth it just to be part of the great NYE custom in Chappaqua: Watching the Pantsuit drop at midnight. … De Blasio received but 8 percent of the votes, which also is understandable. As emauler Ed Buckmir points out: Who wants to be with someone who'd rather be in Red Square than Times Square?
Hasbro is offering to replace the "extruder tool" in its Play-Doh Cake toy because it looked like a phallus. Apparently, it is confusing for the children, who keep looking in vain for the hot dog rolls.
Rumor has it Odell Beckham Jr., in addition to working out in the offseason, wants to get into acting and will be starring in an off-Broadway production of "Show Boat." … On his 63-yard TD catch and run against the Eagles, Beckham backed into the end zone, fired the ball against the wall, and then made the sign of the cross. Lest he be viewed as a hypocrite, someone should teach OBJ the famous Bible verse: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not taunt.
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