"I've been waiting all my life for somebody to see me."
"When you know better, you do better."
"I needed to get connected to me."
Lines like these belong on embroidered throw pillows, not in shows. Yet here they are, along with plenty more, choking off the new off-Broadway drama "While I Yet Live."
Writing this largely autobiographical play about growing up gay in a Pentecostal family must have been cathartic for Billy Porter, who won a Tony for his charismatic drag entertainer, Lola, in "Kinky Boots." But the earnestness of the sentiments doesn't make up for the clunky melodrama and roughly sketched characters.
While Calvin (Larry Powell) is the obvious stand-in for Porter, the show's dominant presence is his sister, Tonya (Sheria Irving). She's the one who keeps the extended family's household together when Calvin flies the coop after yet another argument with their Bible-quoting mother, Maxine (S. Epatha Merkerson, late of "Law & Order").
Most of the show revolves around Maxine coming to terms with her son's homosexuality. Not that he's much help. It's hard to tell if Porter meant it that way, but Calvin comes across as selfish and rude, leaving the care of their disabled mom to his sibling.
Orbiting around the central trio are Maxine's cancer-stricken friend, the wise Eva (Sharon Washington), and grandma Gertrude— a barely there role that wastes the incomparable Lillias White ("The Life").
Casting a shadow on this women-centric world is the sullen Vernon (Kevyn Morrow), the stepfather who sexually abused Calvin.
Years pass as the show plods along. Gertrude develops dementia. Characters die only to come back as silent, ghostly figures.
Not that we can tell the difference from when they were alive: Under Sheryl Kaller's muddled direction, people not involved in a particular conversation hover on the periphery, trying to look inconspicuous as they stare into space or pretend to sleep.
Whatever pleasures the show offers come from the actors. Merkerson, so heartbreaking in the 2008 revival of "Come Back, Little Sheba," can find hidden pools of ache in pretty much anything, and her scenes with Washington have a genuine warmth. When these two have their girlfriend chats, the show suddenly pulses with life. And that's something that just doesn't fit on a pillow.
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