Why Upper West Siders don’t deserve good restaurants

After spending a lifetime trying to figure out who or what's to blame for Upper West Side dining misery, I finally nailed the perps — Upper West Siders themselves.

Something in the water from the wooden rooftop tanks seeps into local pores and neutralizes tongues and palates. They deserve Manhattan's dullest restaurant scene, even if they don't recognize it.

Take the example of Parm. When a friend asked me the "secret" of getting a table at Mario Carbone and Rich Torrisi's wonderful new place on Columbus Avenue, I told her, "Try opentable.com. You can often get seats at 8 p.m. the same day" — as I found on Tuesday when I checked the site at 2:30 p.m.

At any of the hot chefs' other restaurants, it can take weeks to get tables at good times. But to Upper West Siders, Parm in their midst might be an ordinary pasta joint like the dozens nearby.

It's hardly the only case of Upper West Side indifference.

By 9:30 p.m., you'll find empty seats in many of the best restaurants. While fine eateries like Barcelona-themed Boqueria on the supposedly dull Upper East Side are packed, sleepy locals west of Central Park are packing it in, heading home to their babies and the next episode of "Empire."

The Upper West Side "is entirely a 6 to 9 p.m. business," agrees former BR Guest owner Stephen Hanson, who created popular Ocean Grill and Isabella's and lives nearby.

Even at Broadway's thriving RedFarm, the best Chinese restaurant between Columbus Circle and Grant's Tomb, the communal table can be half empty by 10 p.m.

RedFarm's Chinese cuisine may be tops north of Columbus Circle, but are enough customers stopping by to sample the delicacies?Photo: Gabi Porter

"The Upper West Side is a remarkably early neighborhood for New York City," marvels owner Ed Schoenfeld, who runs the West Village original as well. "You can usually walk in and be seated at 9:30 or 10 p.m., but not downtown."

It isn't exactly breaking news that the blocks north of 72nd Street — my first Manhattan home in the 1970s, and a land I still love — are Manhattan's most miserable eating zone. But I never wanted to face the truth about why: They like it that way.

It's not that there aren't enough single people (the Upper West Side is 25 percent single versus 16 percent for the Upper East Side, according to realtor.com), or that big kitchens encourage home cooking (at any given moment the entire Upper West Side is having General Tso's chicken delivered on wheels), or that young marrieds won't go out with their tots (in Park Slope, they stand at the bar at Talde for an hour, waiting for tables).

Photo: Lorenzo Ciniglio; Tamara Beckwith

It's that Upper West Siders sneer at the culinary passion of other neighborhoods. They let marvelous restaurants like Ed Brown's modern-American Eighty One and Vietnamese-inspired Bar Bao die, while propping up mediocrities like Cafe Luxembourg and Pappardella forever.

Restaurants that bravely open with creative menus quickly dumb them down for proletarian tastes left over from the age when bearded "intellectuals" debated Sino-Soviet relations over refried beans, and "fine dining" struck West End Avenue sages as capitalist decadence.

Tom Valenti's Ouest was hot news when it opened 14 years ago, but nothing in its class has opened in the West 80s since then — and Ouest seems to be running on its past glory.

'Cesca, a rustic-Italian place from Valenti with Amanda Freitag in the kitchen, retreated into generic-Italian after both left in 2006.

Nice Matin is less persuasively Provencal than when it opened 12 years ago. Mediterranean-inspired Bustan has lost its specialness in the year since I reviewed it. It's still good but it's not the same — a decline I noticed even before its original chef left months ago.

Even modest Asian exoticism chases Upper West Siders to the nearest cookie-cutter takeout joint. Michael Bao Huynh's Bar Bao lasted just two years. Sizzling cuttlefish in "salsa verde" of mint, chili and anchovies scandalized palates more attuned to formulaic chicken panang at "Thai" locations.

Cuozzo says Bustan has sadly lost its lustre.Photo: Gabi Porter

And yes, Zak Pelaccio's short-lived Fatty Crab (now the site of RedFarm) was dark, erratic and badly run, but the Broadway satellite of downtown's fiery Malaysian favorite roared like a tiger in 2009 and lasted barely three years.

While Upper West Siders brag about their neighborhood favorites — don't we all love our neighborhood favorites? — those who move elsewhere are amazed to discover how limited their old food scene really was.

Barbara Wagner, a real estate publicist who long lived in the West 80s, found that her family's new neighborhood, the supposedly stodgy far-East 50s, "is actually more vibrant," full of good French, Greek, Japanese and Italian options between First and Third avenues.

Meanwhile, current residents say even older ethnic spots on the Upper West Side, historically integral to the neighborhood fabric, are in free-fall.

"The Japanese, Thai and Chinese places used to be much better," says Jane Schreck, an arts administrator and script supervisor who's lived with her husband in the West 70s for 30 years.

Their old Chinese favorite, the Cottage on Amsterdam Avenue, has gone "way downhill," says Schreck, who's been to China and loves the cuisine. "We ordered the same dishes all the time. They were always good, but now they're greasy and don't seem as fresh."

The district is as starved for buzz as for spice.

Unlike in nabes with at least the illusion of a dynamic dining scene, "there is no scene" on the Upper West Side, says restaurant publicist Jennifer Baum, who also lives there. "People go downtown because they want to see the people who are there, even if the food is terrible," she says.

No wonder: The Upper West Side is all "baby carriages" and "boring," Wagner says.

Once, apparently swayed by too much Amsterdam Avenue ale, I proclaimed the district the "Upper Best Side."

A handful of truly grand places — Bar Boulud, Boulud Sud, Lincoln, Telepan, Leopard des Artistes — are clustered near Lincoln Center. But only a few restaurants north of 72nd Street, like Dovetail and RedFarm, have refused to dilute their original bold styles.

And a new place that sticks to its guns must put up with what Schoenfeld calls the "kvetch factor."

On Christmas at RedFarm, "A lady at the bar was counting people and seats to see who should get a table next." She made a loud stink and "made my manager cry," Schoenfeld recalls ruefully.

He asked her to leave — "I basically fired my customer," he laughs. "You'd never see that downtown."

Perhaps locals share lingering nostalgia for the days of Mexican beaneries and dairy cafeterias. Call it Karl Marx's revenge on a neighborhood that prefers Gray's Papaya to the eats that make this city the most famous dining destination in the world.

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How Ryan McDonagh has grown into role as Rangers captain

SAINT PAUL, Minn. — Ryan McDonagh has come back home again to this twin city in which he was born, raised, grew up and was married.

He has come back home as a Ranger for Thursday night's match against the Wild, the opportunity to play in front of family and long-time friends, "still something special," as he said following Wednesday's light practice.

But this time, there is a difference. This time, for the first time, McDonagh comes home with the captain's "C" on his jersey that he has worn since the start of this season.

Sometimes — make that all of the time — it is easy to forget McDonagh is just 25 and only in his fifth season in the NHL and as a Ranger. That reflects how mature and polished he was the moment he joined the team on Jan. 7, 2011.

But McDonagh has grown this season, even if it has not quite been the best of his career. His offensive numbers are down from last year, from 14 goals and 29 assists (43 points) to seven goals and 20 assists (27 points). His role on the power play has diminished, and he hasn't hit the high notes quite as often, even if he has saved the best for the latter part of the season by elevating down the stretch.

At the same time, McDonagh has grown into the captaincy of one of the NHL's best teams.

And he has developed in the role after experiencing growing pains early this season.

"I think there's been a natural progression for me into the role, but it took me some time to figure out a few things," McDonagh told The Post. "I needed to identify when it was the right time to step up and say something, and when it was the right time to stay quiet.

"And at the same time, I had to make sure that I was focusing the right way going into a game," No. 27 said. "I had to realize that I didn't have to do everything and that I didn't have to play the perfect game or make the perfect play because I was the captain.

"I probably put a little bit too much pressure on myself. The guys could see it. And they picked me up."

McDonagh's learning curve — and his season — was interrupted by the left shoulder separation he sustained in a Nov. 1 game against the Jets on a check from Evander Kane that sidelined the top pair left defenseman for 11 games. And if he seemed he wasn't quite himself upon returning, McDonagh on Wednesday admitted that he really hadn't been.

"It took about seven or eight games to really get over it and get back to feeling normal on the ice," McDonagh said. "That might not seems like a lot of time, but it's a pretty good chunk of the season."

It took time for McDonagh, and it took time for the Rangers to hit their stride. It took until Dec. 8 — or about when the captain returned to full strength — for the Blueshirts to kick it into a consistently high gear, an overtime victory that night over the Penguins marking the start of an astounding 35-8-3 run that propelled the team to elite status and to the top of the East.

Ryan McDonagh has sevn goals this season.Photo: Christopher Pasatieri

"It takes time for a team to create an identity," McDonagh said. "We're a speed team, everyone recognizes that and that's become a big part of our identity from the outside looking in, but our speed goes both ways.

"Our foundation and our mind-set has been on defense, probably even more than last year," he said. "We stress numbers back, our forwards are so conscientious on the back-check, and I can't remember that ever being better. That allows the D to keep a good gap, and so we can go with speed with our transition.

"We're all committed to this style. We're all committed to our structure and our roles."

John Tortorella, who preceded Alain Vigneault behind the bench, was committed to defense-first hockey, and the Rangers got to the conference finals after finishing with the East's best record in 2011-12. But it was so different. Then, the focus wasn't on making plays out of the D zone, and it wasn't on developing and maintaining constant pace with instant turnarounds.

But that's not the biggest difference between the teams—and the coaching philosophies—as identified by McDonagh. For while Henrik Lundqvist is the name above the title on the marquee, this Broadway production is a collaborative effort.

"The most significant change is that we use everybody. We don't shorten the bench the way we did then," he said. "As a player, you want to be given the opportunity to contribute, no matter what the role is.

"When you see your teammates put into position to succeed in their roles, and I mean all of your teammates, that's the way that trust is built within the team," McDonagh said. "This coaching staff uses everybody and gives everybody the opportunity to contribute.

"We don't have issues in here over our roles or our ice time," he said. "We have a winning atmosphere, and a very unselfish group. Everybody is in, and a lot of that starts with the way the coaching staff puts its trust in us."

Management and the coaching staff put its trust in McDonagh to assume the captaincy.

His teammates maintained their trust in him even as he felt his way through the start of the season.

"With the veterans we have and the guys who have way more experience than I do, I didn't want to come in and exceed my limits," he said. "But my teammates and our leadership group couldn't have been better or more supportive of me.

"I owe these guys, but at the same time, we're all here for each other. It's a loose group and a fun group, and I'm proud to be part of it."

And so McDonagh comes home. Home to St. Paul while feeling at home as the captain of the Rangers.

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Bratton denies blowout with de Blasio deputy at City Hall

Who's the real April Fool?

Top cop Bill Bratton on Wednesday played the loyal attack dog for Mayor de Blasio and blasted The Post's report that he stormed out of a City Hall meeting when his plea for more officers was rejected.

But multiple sources confirmed the story's accuracy and said they were stunned by the shameless denials.

"An April Fools Day joke," Bratton told reporters at a press conference, while holding up The Post's front-page story detailing his tense meeting on Monday with Deputy Mayor Anthony Shorris.

"Alexander Hamilton would be embarrassed," the top cop said, referring to the paper's founder.

The Post reported on Wednesday that Shorris told Bratton he would not green-light the hiring of 1,000 new cops despite months of lobbying by the commissioner.

"If I don't get them from you, I'll go to the City Council and get them!" Bratton shouted as he left the room, sources said.

Shorris shot back, "You don't work for the City Council. You work for the mayor!"

Bratton insisted they did not meet on Monday and never had a contentious discussion — but sources stood by the narrative.

"I can't believe he's denying it," a source said.

"The meeting happened, as described," said a second source.

Mayor de Blasio's office also denied the meeting, but reps for both men did not respond to requests for Bratton's and Shorris' schedules on Monday.

However, Bratton did reiterate his need for more cops and even declared, "I am very confident we will get additional officers . . . We will get additional officers."

And he has several City Council members on his side — including Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito. They said the mayor was dead wrong not to include the new cops in his preliminary budget.

"It continues to be a priority and we have broad, broad support in this council to continue to invest more resources in the form of more cops for the Police Department. So, that will definitely be a priority in our negotiations," said Mark-Viverito, a Manhattan Democrat.

"We've consistently indicated that we want to see more officers, and we believe that there's a need for it. So, we need more officers."

Other members also voiced full support for Bratton.

"It's time for Bill de Blasio to put his money where his mouth is," declared Eric Ulrich (R-Queens).

"I think it's a top priority for the people of this city, who want to live in a safe city, and it should be a priority for the administration. The fact that the administration is reluctant to hire additional police officers at the levels that we'd like to see really is troubling," he said.

Ulrich said the pressure on de Blasio will mount as the July 1 deadline nears to pass a balanced budget.

"The point is that we have priorities. He doesn't always share those priorities. We have to meet somewhere in the middle," he said.

Vanessa Gibson (D-Bronx), chair of the council's Public Safety Committee, said, "We all acknowledge that something needs to be done."

Additional reporting by Yoav Gonen and Michael Gartland

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De Blasio-bashing sheriff gets warm welcome from Bratton

Bill Bratton rolled out the red carpet for a tough-talking sheriff who is one of the nation's fiercest critics of Mayor de Blasio.

In yet another slap at the mayor, the NYPD commissioner hosted a friendly meeting at One Police Plaza with Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke, who has frequently attacked de Blasio as anti-cop. In a March 24 tweet proclaiming the meeting, Bratton gushed over Clarke.

"Happy to welcome Milwaukee County to NYPD Headquarters today for a conversation on policing," Bratton wrote in the tweet along with a photo of himself posing with Clarke.

The Wisconsin sheriff is a conservative firebrand who gained a national reputation over the past year for ripping politicians who he felt treated police unfairly after the deaths of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo., and Eric Garner in Staten Island.

"President Obama, [Attorney General Eric] Holder and de Blasio have benefited politically by throwing our nation's finest under the bus," Clarke wrote in the National Sheriffs' Association's magazine.

"De Blasio talked of fearing for the safety of his son should he come into contact with police, even though the statistical reality is that his son faces far greater threats from New York City gang violence."

Despite the bitter attacks on his boss by Clarke, Bratton obviously had an enjoyable day with the sheriff, who also tweeted a picture of the duo.

Clarke said Wednesday the meeting was Bratton's idea. He also continued to attack the mayor, calling his treatment of the NYPD "deplorable."

"I was shocked by the rhetoric coming out of [de Blasio's] mouth after the Garner grand-jury decision," he said.

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Trump course in NYC draws rave reviews on opening day

Abdul Aziz wanted to be the first. It had, after all, been 52 years since the last public golf course was opened in New York City.

So Aziz, from Queens, was on the phone the minute tee times were first available for booking last month, and he scored the 7:40 a.m. spot for Wednesday's long-anticipated opening of Trump Golf Links at Ferry Point.

"I wanted to be the first,'' Aziz said as he stood on the tee box of the fourth hole.

About three hours after the first group teed off, Josh Rich from Manhattan one-upped Aziz, carding a hole-in-one on the 12th hole — the first hole-in-one of the course's official opening, a 150-yard 8-iron.

"I saw it drop and didn't see it after that, because it was kind of a blind shot,'' said Rich, a 9-handicap who said it was his first hole-in-one after having played for 15 years. "I'm in shock. I'm still shaking. I'm still trembling.''

Told that course owner and proprietor Donald Trump had a hole-in-one on the 12th last year before the course opened, Rich said jokingly, "Well, I'm in the same company as Donald.''

Rich was part of another first on Wednesday. He was playing with Andrea Westerlind, the first woman to play the course's opening.

It was that kind of day at Trump Golf Links at Ferry Point. The place was bustling with a full morning tee sheet filled with many players from New York City who have been anticipating the long-awaited opening.

Mike Bonamassa, who lives in Queens and owns a plumbing company, grew up minutes away from the property the course now occupies.

"It hasn't been anything since the '60s, so to get out on the first day was kind of a must for me,'' Bonamassa said. "I've been hearing about it since I was a kid. It has gone from a dump to something I've dreamed about. I've been waiting for this for years.''

Theo Mavromihalis grew up across the Whitestone Bridge in Queens and said he has watched the property in various stages of disrepair since he was a kid.

Kevin Hennessy, 34, from Queens, tees off with the first group.Photo: Andrew Theodorakis

"We used to come out here as kids with BB guns and shoot rats,'' Mavromihalis said. "The people here in The Bronx and Queens don't yet realize what they have here. There has been a lot of resistance in community board meetings that this was a big waste of the city's money and that it's not worth it.

"They don't realize the greater good this will bring to the community and how a golf course can open up golden doors. Ten years from now, those who opposed this are going to realize how this will help revitalize The Bronx.''

Jim Carriero, a fellow attorney and playing partner of Mavromihalis, is also from Queens and said he has been "eagerly anticipating this to be finished after seeing as a dump for so many years.''

"Every time I drove over the Whitestone Bridge, I'd look down and see, 'Oh, they have another hole finished,' or, 'Oh, they have another fairway done,' '' Carriero said.

Eamon Donnelly, a New York bar owner playing with three fellow Irishmen, said the links style of the course reminds him of playing at home in Ireland "with the rolling hills and mounds and hills in the fairways.''

He called the price to play, which is significantly more than the other city courses, "worth it, because quality is worth it.''

Aiden Welsh, another of the Irish foursome, said the location is one of the biggest draws.

"I think it took 20 minutes to get here this morning — in traffic," Welsh said.

Two players who were lukewarm on the course because of the cost to play were Jason Stricker and Theron Irish, two members of Westchester Hills, a private club. They paid the $230 rate (with cart) as non-city residents.

"I think the price is a little high,'' Irish said. "I don't know how the public is going to pay that. Who, playing public golf, is going to pay $230 for a round? Maybe Wall Street guys. Some people don't make that kind of money in two or three days of work. This is not Yankee Stadium, where you can buy bleacher seats.''

Tony Macari, a developer of concession and architecture who works with the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation, said he has been working on this project since 2001 and "got emotional'' seeing the first group tee off.

"It's almost surreal to see this come to fruition after all these years,'' Macari said. "This project has had a couple of lives, but it's never gone away. It's an historic day … a long time coming. ''

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Discovery Channel getting in touch with its feminine side

Discovery Channel, known for male-driven reality shows about grizzled fishermen, gold miners and car mechanics, is getting in touch with its feminine side.

New channel chief Rich Ross, a former Disney executive who joined Discovery in January, said he is looking to broaden the channel's appeal and diversify its programming.

"We need to welcome everyone," Ross told The Post after unveiling the channel's new lineup to media on Tuesday.

A new special called "Elevation Weekend" will take a small step in that direction by featuring both male and female climbers scaling the world's toughest peaks.

Ross, who had the most success when he was head of Disney Channels Worldwide, is pushing into scripted programming as well, with a behind-the-brand series on the founders of legendary motorcycle company Harley-Davidson.

The channel also highlighted "Racing Extinction," a politically charged documentary about a team of activists who infiltrate black markets in endangered species.

Despite some departures, Discovery offered up new shows that follow the same "Bering Sea Gold" formula, including "Pacific Warriors," about Hawaiian commercial fisherman, and "Treasure Quest," about a group hunting for gold in Brazil.

David Zaslav, the head of parent Discovery Communications, predicted the spring up-front market — when TV programmers sell the bulk of their ad time — would be better than last year but not gangbusters.

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Discovery makes a deal for Mendes’ Neal Street Productions

Discovery Communications is bolstering its ownership of content with a deal for Hollywood director Sam Mendes' Neal Street Productions.

All3Media, jointly owned by Discovery and Liberty Global, said Tuesday it was buying the UK production company known for drama, theater and film productions, including BBC series "Call the Midwife," which has been sold to more than 200 countries, and Showtime's "Penny Dreadful."

Financial terms weren't disclosed.

Mendes, who directed the James Bond film "Skyfall" and the Oscar-winning "American Beauty," put his firm on the block last year.

Discovery and Liberty acquired All3Media, which houses production and distribution companies across Europe, for $930 million in May.

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$650 Versace T-shirt strikingly similar to one made by American Apparel

American Apparel just scored an unlikely point against Versace, but only after the LA clothing company fired the merchant who engineered its fleeting fashion coup.

The blogosphere erupted this week with pictures of a $650 Versace T-shirt on sale at UK retailer Selfridges — a shirt that looks strikingly similar to a $30 version American Apparel sold in 2013.

"This hurts," Kesh, the UK fashion designer who made the original version for American Apparel, said on Instagram.

"$650. Versace ripoff. Sold out in 3 sizes," Kesh said. "Why can't these companies. these brands. these people create their own work?"

Kesh said she plans to pursue legal action against Versace.

Versace didn't comment on Tuesday.

Ironically, American Apparel earlier this month had abruptly fired Merrily Lupo, who was credited with creating the Kesh partnership, insiders said.

"They didn't give her any reason other than saying that the position was being eliminated," said a source briefed on the situation.

Lupo's ouster follows the recent exit of numerous female employees since Chief Executive Paula Schneider took the helm in January.

Schneider and Chairwoman Colleen Brown were tapped by Standard General, a hedge fund that partnered last summer with founder Dov Charney to take control of the board and later backed Charney's ouster.

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Playing-out-the-string Devils drop sixth consecutive game

COLUMBUS, Ohio — After a season filled with injuries, the Columbus Blue Jackets are getting healthy. And, apparently, more resilient.

Jack Johnson's backhander 56 seconds into overtime lifted the Blue Jackets past the New Jersey Devils 3-2 on Tuesday night, extending their winning streak to seven.

The Devils, who lost their sixth game in a row (0-5-1), tied it on Mike Cammalleri's second goal of the night — short-handed, no less — with 2:29 left in regulation.
But the Blue Jackets, so thin earlier in the year after being decimated by injuries that they fell out of contention, bounced right back.

"I just like the way our guys responded," said former Ranger Brandon Dubinsky, who scored on a penalty shot in the second period.

On the winning goal, Johnson skated from the left wing through the slot and flipped a shot that got through traffic and by Cory Schneider for the winner.

"I came around the side of the net and the next thing I knew I was all by myself," said the defenseman, who notched his seventh goal of the season. "Once I had a chance, I just tried a backhander."

Everyone piled on Johnson in celebration as the horn sounded.

Nick Foligno scored a power-play goal and Sergei Bobrovsky made 24 saves as the Blue Jackets matched a season high for consecutive wins.

"Obviously, they're one of the hottest teams in the league right now," said Schneider, who stopped 28 shots. "You can see why. They play with speed and skill and with some grit. They go to the crease and they make it hard. They're a tough team to handle."

Unfortunately for the Blue Jackets, they're finding their game too late. Boston's 3-2 win over Florida on Tuesday night ended Columbus' flickering hopes of making the playoffs.

With almost 500 man games lost to injury, at the very least the Blue Jackets have some depth for a change.

"It feels a little bit like that, just getting healthier," coach Todd Richards said. "With the power play and the penalty kill, there's more options."

The Devils have scored seven goals during its skid. Cammalleri also found the net on a power play in the first period. Eric Gelinas had two assists.

"Unfortunately, we just couldn't get it done in overtime," Devils coach and general manager Lou Lamoriello said.

Dubinsky, who had never scored on a penalty shot in 538 NHL games, got the chance after being slashed by Stefan Matteau as he shot while on a breakaway. Dubinsky worked his way from the right wing to beat Schneider with a wrist shot on the glove side at 4:44 of the second period.

Schneider had stopped eight of nine previous penalty shots.

That goal gave the Blue Jackets a 2-1 lead. It stayed that way until a wild final few minutes.

With Columbus on the power play, Gelinas' stretch pass found Dainius Zubrus alone in the neutral zone. He swooped in on Bobrovsky and got off a shot. Zubrus then whacked at the rebound, but Bobrovsky made both stops.

Zubrus didn't give up on the play from the back wall. He gathered the puck and sent a pass off a defender's stick that popped over the edge of the net. Cammalleri was there to get a stick on the puck and it squirted in as Bobrovsky tried to cover the post.
But the Blue Jackets didn't fade away after the late goal.

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Heir to Getty oil fortune found dead in Hollywood

A statement from the Getty family says a man found dead in a Hollywood Hills home is Getty oil fortune heir Andrew Getty.

The statement says 47-year-old Andrew Getty died at the home Tuesday but provided no further details on the death.

His parents, Ann and Gordon Getty, asked in the statement that the media and public respect the family's privacy. They say further statements will be issued as information becomes available.

Police and coroner's officials have so far declined to identify the man or say how he died, but they confirmed that a woman called police to the home Tuesday afternoon and officers found a man dead in a bathroom.

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